Strength

My Someone,

This is my favorite weather. Bar none. All it does is fill me with peace... no urgency, no compelling feeling to want to do anything in particular. I end up, more often than not, sitting in my favorite chair with a glass of riesling, or if there is a sufficient chill in the air, a cup of hot cider. Though my apartment is beyond small and there is barely enough room for me in the 297 square feet, it feels emptier and emptier as the days become shorter. Though my futon is small, there is enough room on it for two bodies to share their warmth with one another and as the days drag on, I find myself longing to relinquish my perch in my favorite chair, just to be one of those bodies.

The leaves are beginning to turn and the pond near my apartment is attaining a glassy, mirror-like quality that it simply cannot acquire in the hot summer months. Each leaf that falls reminds me of a piece of clutter inside my apartment (when I am on my own, I am not the best of housekeepers - I clean much better when there is another body in the room to keep me company). I prefer during this time of the year to try to occupy myself outside of my apartment and I am rarely home to even begin to consider tidying up. When I am home, I am only reminded of what is missing from it and that becomes difficult to deal with at times.

I am facing a conundrum at this juncture of my life. My church, is stagnating. I am the only one my age and the rest are young families... I need to step up and take a role of leadership and form some sort of college group if I am to have any hope of having a connection with someone close to my age. I don't know if I have what it takes to start one up though... I don't think I am enough of a leader. But I know that it has to be done, otherwise, my church is going to continue to lack in growth and I am going to continue to disconnect from the best environment that I have been exposed to in my entire life.

I wish that you could be by my side to help me lead this new endeavor. It would be so much nicer to have someone there when things get tough... which they inevitably will. However, I do recognize that I will be stronger and better equipped if I face this seemingly insurmountable obstacle all on my own. One day, you can help me lead something or start something like this up. God has great plans for the two of us. I just know you'll be an amazing man of God, after God's own heart, like David. You can lead me with strong hands and I'll be there to back you up no matter what. I'll be there for you in every way that I possibly can as a mate, wife, partner, whatever you want to refer to me as.

I pray that as a couple we will be one that people in our future church will look up to and look to for an example of a Godly union. I have seen so many and watch in awe as they accomplish things that worldly couples cannot. There is a strength that God provides to couples who truly seek him. I know that we will have the potential to be such a couple. To be an absolute pillar of strength by God's grace and for His glory.

Steadfastly,

Yours